Everyone (Not everyone) likes a good thunderstorm, and I’m no exception.
Film 4 and this challenge has already been described as ‘shit’, which is amazing considering it’s the first and only film watched by Betsy, and also one she bought….
Obviously set in the good old plains of the United States, the opening scene comes as no surprise when we see a young Helen Hunt watching her old man getting sucked off down on the farm. She even has a little terrier dog. It’s like Dorothy. (Except she watched a witch getting sucked off.)
Suddenly, we’re transported to the late 90’s and Helen Hunt is a hot blonde in tight shorts who hunts down monster storms IN A MONSTER TRUCK. (Actually she’s not that hot.) When this film was originally released most people were wowed by the CGI for the tornados. Sixteen years later and I’m afraid I was wowed by how shit they are… Cars fly through the air in slow motion. A cow is seen suckling it’s calf in a F2 storm. Tractors are thrown willy nilly. It’s all a bit boring.
In fact. It’s all a bit shit.
6.5 DISASTER POINTS
Can the lepers, criminals, blind children and a drunken priest escape the island?
Unfortunately the video embedded above is the only trailer for this film I could find, and it’s only 12 seconds long. I did consider making my own but I also stopped after 12 seconds and killed myself. Some people have said that the first 12 seconds of this film are in fact the best bit. I’m inclined to agree.
Spencer Tracey plays an old crusty alcoholic priest type bloke. He likes a wee dram and he also likes lepers and blind kids. Frank Sinatra plays Harry. A hardened criminal, he refuses to sing or dance and frequently makes sarcastic remarks because he’s a dirty, slimy piece of good for nothing shit. He doesn’t swear though and he loves his mum Doris.
Unfortunately for everyone concerned, the beautiful, paradise island they all find themselves on, is actually a big bastard volcano. And going by the title of the film one would imagine that at about 4 o’clock it’s going to go ‘pop’. What we don’t know is if it’s 4am or 4pm. This can only add to the tension. Except it doesn’t.
2.2 DISASTER POINTS
There’s alot to be said about the demise of Dolph Lundgren’s career since the end of the 90’s. I think a lot of it can be explained by this film.
After a 400 second long 9.5 magnitude earthquake, Dolph finds himself in the desert with only his glummness for company. He soon meets up with two equally glum people and a pulsating goatherder, then a prison full of criminals and then we all wonder exactly how bad this earthquake actually was, considering how many people survived….
Somehow this film has a score of 3.4 on IMDB. I’m surprised Dolph had the mental capacity to even score his own film repeatably..